I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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