so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
