Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
