This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
