Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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