writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
