in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
