So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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