My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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