She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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