Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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