Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I want to fling myself into the sun
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
