I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Randomize
