Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
