Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
