Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
