Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Only a mothe r could love this liver
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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