I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize