So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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