can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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