I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
