While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
