you guys were way drunker than both of me
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
