The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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