Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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