I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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