just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
God, I missed his penis.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
