i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
