I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
