My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Found the puke drawer
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize