this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
