Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
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