Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We are two peas in an std pod
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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