Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
