ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
