We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Randomize
