i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
