he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
