Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
