hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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