Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
