so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
