your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
