YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize