the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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