For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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