About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
