I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
