They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
