I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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