He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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