garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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