Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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