Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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