The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize