Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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