Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
