just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
