The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
