I just pynch a tree in the face
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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