Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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