We need to rekindle our bromance
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
